My dad and I drove through DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN last night on the way to Uniontown, PA. Time for breakfast and then hitting the road for Greenup, IL!  It was a very curvy and sharp descent through Dangerous Mountain, as it was called on the McDonald's-colored wartning sign.  There was even a runaway truck exit...it goes into the mountain.  Almost like getting eaten alive maybe? ...Let's not think about that.

First time on my new laptop too.  I signed into FB and had to verify my Facebook account by identifying piuctures of his 2800+ friends.  I HAVE 2800+ FRIENDS...I'm in real trouble possibnly for identifying all my survivcors.  (I love you dearly!)

So...Who did they give me? Ajay Baharani (best friend) , Anuja Mehta (closest friend) , Katy Price (elementary school friend) AND Daniel Dresser (taekwondo friend). Seriously...I don't know how I passed.

Anyway, just wanted to post a quick note.  I'm going down to get breakfast now.  It's a free continental breakfast, which actually cost $75.76...but they have a waffle iron!  McDaniel College memories all over again....

Foofd and then off to Greenup, IL!  2 1/2 days to Boulder.  Let the adventure continue through Native America! (latest song by Carbon Leaf.  Go listen to it.  It's amazing =) )

I was getting dressed after showering at the gym today when I noticed something interesting…I put my clothes on same side first every time.  Now what is really interesting, if not bizarre, is that it’s not only that I put my left leg first or my left arm first, it’s that I cannot dress myself the other way around.  It feels completely out of place and when I tried to start putting clothes on the right side of my body first, my body physically would not do it.

I never put blame on my disability for how I do things, but I seriously wonder if dressing my left side first is due to an order of dominance due to nerve damage on my right side or is simply a learned trait and nothing more beyond that.  I was born left handed so it wasn’t as though becoming left handed was an adapted necessity.  I also know it throws my balance in complete reverse by doing things with the opposite side of my body first, but I literally stopped in my tracks and could not start with my right leg.  I even put my left sock on first!

Perhaps later this week I will try it the opposite way and see if I can.  The more I try, I may be able to ascertain if it’s a result of my disability or not by seeing and feeling how my body reacts upon repeated efforts at dressing myself the other way.  Also interesting to note, I just walked away from my compute to go rinse off a bag of carrots I brought to work and realized that I had put my shirt on backwards after dressing myself the way that I have always remembered dressing myself.  Just a weird dressing day all the way around I guess.  Maybe if I dress myself from the right side to the left tomorrow I will put my shirt on forwards.  That, or it’ll be inside out…and I really hope I recognize that one before leaving the gym tomorrow.

After getting dressed and getting on the bus, I opened my bag and pulled out the free Express paper that I hadn’t finished reading yesterday.  The reason I hadn’t finished it yesterday happened to be the same reason I have barely started the paper today.  The paper isn’t stapled.

Now I know what you are thinking, The Washington Post isn’t stapled and most newspapers are not, however, that is the main reason I get The Express (which is the free paper put out by Washington Post).  It’s easier to fold the paper and flip from page to page.  Plus, the binding makes it much easier for both of my hands to work together while I read the paper.

My left hand turns the page and it is my right hand’s job to cradle the paper and keep it bound together.  This is where nerve damage and motor control latency definitely impact the situation negatively.  The paper keeps shifting in my hand and as I try to readjust it with my right hand, I crumple the paper and tear it since I can’t measure the strength I need to adjust my grip without adjusting too much or not enough.  My only solution is to wait until I get on the bus so that I can sit down and use my lap to lay the paper on and keep it assembled.

I know that money is tight right now, but seriously…I would imagine the paper could afford to staple the binding again.  It used to be bound, but lately (on the rare occasion it is stapled) it is only stapled on one end of the binding, but usually there’s no binding whatsoever.  One staple is enough to keep it together given how my right hand is impaired, but it’s still a nuisance.  I started getting the paper for convenience, not realizing initially how convenient it was for my disability.  Maybe I’ll get lucky and this recession will break even more…enough that The Express begins stapling their papers again.

I got off at the first bus stop today to go into the building instead of at the second, my usual stop, because my friend was on the bus and I got off with her.  There is a back entrance to my building and she goes in that door and takes the elevator up since she works on the 3rd floor.  I get on with her to go to (I embarrassingly admit) the first floor because I was finishing telling her about my roadtrip out to Colorado…which I leave for on Friday!!!

I get off on the first floor, turn to the left and walk to the door to my company’s office.  After turning out of the elevator, it is probably a 20 foot walk to the door to my office.  I open the door and walk in to my desk.  The secretary turns on the lights every morning.  30 seconds after I get through the door, the lights turn on and I assume it is the secretary.

It turns out that one of my colleagues was just behind me, who had entered from the front of the building.  I didn’t see her, however, because turning left from the elevator meant that she was approaching me on my right side.  My peripheral vision is limited on that side so I never saw her!

It’s funny.  I account for my visual field deficit when I’m conscious of it—driving, turning lanes, crowded rooms.  But in natural environments casually going about my day, I don’t even recognize the flaw.  It’s good that my disability does not impact how I, myself, function, but having adapted to the limitation impacts how I function in every environment.  I have bumped into people, quickly darted away from others I didn’t see.  Fact is, when I am not thinking about it, I am not cognizant about what I don’t see.  I don’t see out of the corner of my right eye.  Driving has made me more aware, but there is still a lot of perception and awareness to develop innately. 
…just another task in rehabilitating my stroke-effected right side.  The battle never ends it seems, but it isn’t that it is prolonging.  Instead, it is progressing.  Each new strength and additional benchmark makes it so that I’m actually able to tackle a new limitation created by my disability.  My continued efforts exposes where else I am weaker and that’s just simply tomorrow’s obstacle towards my ever-growing mission towards “normalcy.”

I have striven to be normal and, in doing so, I found what it means to be extraordinary.  This is simply the next step to see how incredible of a life I can make for myself.  I’m this far beyond anyone’s expectations, so it isn’t like I’m failing at anything.  Let’s just see how much further I can get.  Here on out, everything is bonus points, sugar and cherries on top.

My Facebook status following Kyle's funeral on Monday.

Kyle - The strength to leg press 900 pounds does not nearly equal the strength of holding back tears of loss. Love is the most powerful emotion and Kyle DeVine said it best by saying that friends are as true of family as you can have. Kyle, you are my brother and, even though I leg pressed 900 pounds this morning for you, I... still shed love for you today when I said my extended see you soon this morning.  You impacted me for the better and I still have too many people yet to pay that honor too.