Yesterday is my day when I leave earlier from work.  My bus is scheduled to stop at my bus stop at 4:28.  It used to be early, which was great because I easily caught my 4:38 transfer bus at the metro station.  I don’t make that 4:38 bus as often anymore, even though I should based on the posted bus schedules.  Yesterday the bus came at 4:30.  I had a chance at catching my bus!

I get on the bus and see a girl confined to a motorized wheelchair.  Her friend is standing on the bus next to her to be there for assistance.  The teenage girl in the wheelchair asks her friend if they are at their stop yet.  They’re going to get off before the metro station.  There goes my slim chance at making my bus.

Now, a lot of people get mad when they miss their bus or miss a train as the doors are just closing.  I saw my bus pulling away as we pulled into the metro station—a routine sight for me lately it seems.  However, I cannot be mad about missing my bus because of my bus being late due to the time required to board and un-board a girl confined to a wheelchair.  People still seemed disgruntled when we got to the metro station.  One woman who transfers to the bus I take looked annoyed.  People rushed on to get to their trains too.  In fact, someone got on at the very next stop after the girl and her friend got off and complained about the row of seats being collapsed at the front of the bus as he continued his complaining walking towards the back of the bus to an open seat.

How can I get upset, angry, frustrated, whatever negative emotion people feel when they miss their bus when the reason it happened is because of the exact reason public transportation is available—to get EVERYONE where they need to be, no discrimination shown.  The fact that they make these buses handicapped accessible for both loading and off-loading someone of nearly any disability is fantastic.  Even with these capabilities, the girl and her friend still had to maneuver the wheelchair back and forth a few times the same way you maneuver your car when you pass a space too far and have to readjust in order to avoid hitting the car already parked in the space next to you.

So I missed my bus.  It happens.  It’s life.  What’s another 20 minutes waiting?  I can surely make up the twenty minutes.  Seeing a girl able to get herself from point A to point B and seeing the driver being so cordial to her and her friend, that was worth the twenty minute wait for my next bus.  It puts life into perspective.  It reminds me not only of how far I have come physically and personally, but shows me the determination others naturally carry themselves with and just how far it gets them.  The disgruntled remarks and expressions are forgotten by one considerate, cordial act by a bus driver doing what he is responsible to do—get every person to their destinations safely and enjoyably no matter how, or with whatever assistance needed, you may enter or exit the bus.

So, the book has temporarily been put on hold again.  As strongly as I want to write and finish this book, I hate the thought of putting everything else in my life on hold until the book is done.

The South Africa job opportunity I had found fell through, and this really got me thinking.  If I can secure a job opportunity, preferably in Colorado where I know I want to be, I can agree to start one month from the time I hopefully get a job offer.  This will give me time to put two weeks in at my current job, along with finding a place to live wherever I am able to move.  I can spend the rest of my time before driving out to Colorado doing nothing but writing away.  If I have all day to write, I can easily write a chapter a day.  Having two entire weeks to write, I will easily be able to hit a groove and finish out the rest of the book.

By the time all of this comes together, I should be at a spot where I have right around 14 chapters left to write—a chapter a day and the book will be finito.  I hit such a solid groove initially.  I just need to find that again instead of letting myself get so distracted and overwhelmed.  I’m still trying to figure out if I’m afraid of writing the book, like I am afraid that the story is not compelling enough and that I am wasting my time rehashing my life events.  Another part of me just fears where I’m going to go with my future.  The funny thing about that fear is that I need the book to be finished to get where I want to be.  I just need the book to be perfect.  I want the book and all its connected stories to be as impactful and enticing as I know they are.  I want my memories of what happened, why they happened and where they led me to to come out as powerfully as the events truly were.

Honesty, I’m just putting entirely too much pressure on myself and I just need to simply write.  There will always be more life to live, but I need to remember and share the life I have already lived.  There’s nothing to stress about.  I just need to suck it up and write.  Every time I have feared anything in the past, I overran it and everything turned out just fine.  I’m just going to kick myself in the butt again, get over my little anxiety that things aren’t happening and actually make them happen by doing what I need to do to get where I want to be.

When reading what happened today and yesterday, keep in mind that I am a disabled American who takes the bus for, among other reasons, safety.  Whether it be convenience orsaving money, everyone who takes the bus deserves to be safe and should feel safe taking the bus AT ALL TIMES.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26 around 7:25 AM

The 7:18 bus, route 74 departs from Shady Grove and continues to the Germantown Trans Center via Washingtonian Blvd/Rio in Gaithersburg.

Yesterday, Thursday morning, the bus driver accidentally stayed in the right lane and continued on the 270 NB on ramp instead of staying straight on 370 towards Washingtonian Center.  He cussed at his mistake, paused a moment and continued onto 270, correcting its route after making the erroneous turn.  The bus was about 5 minutes later than it usually is by the time it dropped me off.

Today, the same bus driver got out of the bus before departing Shady Grove, appearing to check the bus route.  We departed at 7:18 and, once again, the driver incorrectly took the 270 NB exit.  This time, however, instead of driving onto 270 and correcting his mistake as he did yesterday, the driver decides to put the bus in reverse and back the bus back onto 370.  The driver was more than halfway up the onramp when he stopped on the right side of the ramp, put the bus in reverse and proceeded to back the bus up the entire way.  He stopped repeatedly as cars and trucks zoomed by, waiting for clearance to continue backing up the northbound ramp.

I have video of this as well as someone else who was on the bus.  As much as I have read about public safety in the news recently, this is appalling and downright scary.  Also worthy to note, Ride On's tip line is temporarily unavailable this morning when I called to report it.

I don’t know what it was: maybe how busy things have been with my girlfriend moving, perhaps writing about my Achilles tendon surgery was difficult or maybe I just plain needed a break, but I finally finished the chapter about getting through my last true surgery stemming from my aneurysm.  As difficult of a time as it was to overcome, especially at 9 years old, my life was very happy despite my disability.  Now I’m at a point in the book where literally all I do is grow, and grow into the complete independence I have only gained in the last year.

Nobody enjoys being patient when they are pursuing or waiting for something they truly want.  Being forced to be patient is a gift because each day teaches you how much you cherish what you are seeking.  I’m ready to start venturing into these other chapters and now it seems like my waiting is finally paying off for life.

As patient as I have been in getting my license and carefully progressing to this state of independence, it’s kind of scary to realize that nothing is holding me back now.  However, having that independence is exciting because of the knowledge and experiences I can share with others.  Relating with others is huge, and to be able to impact their lives the way that I have is such an amazing feeling.  Sure, Determination has jumpstarted a lot slower than I anticipated, but that is simply because there is still more to the journey I get to enjoy and learn from before Determination can reach its pinnacle ability to impact others.

I think the combination from all that and the culmination it is creating makes me so excited about this opportunity to help others realize and create their own independence in South Africa.  To overcome the limitations in your life, cultivating your talents and skills and then have the ability to make a living utilizing those talents and skills, that’s not only what I’m trying to do with my life already, but what I have done with my own life.  Impossible does not exist unless we let it.  Somehow I found a company that is making a living at helping others attain everything possible.

I’ve broken through my writer’s block and the light ahead of me seems to be revealing my career as well.  Both this book and this opportunity are going to have an amazing result.  That result will be even further enhanced due to this passion I have for all of it.  It’s not just a hobby or a job, it’s life and a living—not just for me, but for everyone I touch.  So much is going to come and is about to happen, and now there is nothing holding me back to bask in the joy of uninhibited life.