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August 21, 2010 04:22:00
Posted By gregwagner
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I think everyone questions
decisions they made, wondering if they did the right
thing. It’s funny how things work out
though. For example, I sometimes question if I should
have left my last job. If I didn’t leave that job,
however, I never would have gone to a job fair in May, where I
wound up meeting a girl at one of the booths who has been a
friend since that day we met.
Not only that, but the more
we talked the more we realized how similar our career goals
are. If I didn’t leave that job, I never would have
met Mar. I also never would have gotten my personal
training certification, which led me to meeting Suzy. The
importance behind this?
What I have realized that
Determination needs is a multi-faceted approach. I met
both these women as a result of leaving my job and pursuing
Determination. Now, these ladies are adding their own
pieces to complement what I initially came up with.
Determination is going to expand out into a multi-layered
scheme utilizing all 3 of us in the entire process. I
don’t want to give away too much, and we still have a
lot of discussing left to do before any of it would make sense
anyways, but it looks like this program is going to take off
sooner than expected AND will be doing so in a larger scale
way than I initially planned.
Wow, the power of brainstorming and team building. It's
amazing how much can come together so quickly when multiple
people are on the same page. I’m so lucky that I
met two people who are on the same page with me, and I met
them as a result of leaving my job. Maybe it isn’t
so much luck after all.
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August 20, 2010 04:17:16
Posted By gregwagner
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It’s been weird working again. It’s a different environment than where I was before, but working again has reminded me about what frustrated me at my previous job. Things aren’t as I expected them to be and that made me remember why I wasn’t happy before. This go around is different though.
See, before I was only looking towards a vision about what Determination could be. Now, there is some groundwork being made. I’m being paid for speaking engagements AND I have started to get a team together to make Determination into a larger venture. None of this existed at my previous job. It was all a vision I was dreaming about. The fact that there is actual progress being made makes putting up with non-ideal situations more bearable because I can see the ultimate goal inching closer in the part of my life that matters most to me.
I’m okay with saying that this is a job that is merely a source of stability. It’s allowing me the opportunity to pursue and develop Determination and not go bankrupt, to put it bluntly. My parents have supported me so much across my life. This is my chance to support myself. I’m starting to live the dream. The more I get myself to live it, the closer it will become to being my life entirely. It’s okay that I am not there yet and that my career isn’t as far as I want it to be. A lot of people are struggling and a lot of people are having to sacrifice. Everyone wants to make progress faster and faster, but fact remains that progress is being made on my end. It’s going to get there, a fact I didn’t have before. That is exactly why I’ll be able to handle a non-ideal situation.
There is actually a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve actually lit it, instead of dreaming about how and when I will light it. Existence makes all the difference in the world. It’s a source of happiness that you can always rely on to pull you through and keep you moving forward.
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August 19, 2010 04:47:05
Posted By gregwagner
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Each time I talk with Mar I get a little more excited about what we are developing. I never realized how in sync we are with our ideas and how complementary our desired ventures are.
My current situation isn’t exactly what I had pictured it to be, but every time we talk I am reminded about how much good is going to come from what we are envisioning. It’s helping me remember who I’m doing this for and why. I can put up with this situation because it’s going to lead to so much good for so many people.
I keep saying that big things are coming, but seriously after talking to Mar and putting everything on paper, she and I have something that neither of us have seen in a company. We have our own unique take on our own venture. Our competition will be ourselves. We just have to plan it right and that is exactly what we are doing.
Just wait, Determination is going to grow and expand in ways even I never thought would come about so quickly. Man, networking and friendship development really pay off! You actually can meet the right people, and meet them in the most unexpected ways. I’m sure not complaining, and I don’t think anyone else will either.
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August 18, 2010 07:00:51
Posted By gregwagner
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Initial post: Sure, I survived a brain aneurysm and a stroke. Yeah, it's been challenging. Here's the thing: It's an obstacle to overcome NOT an obstacle holding me back.
Jack's comment (epilepsy survivor): While I think the phrase "whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" doesn't apply to every scenario, it definitely applies to this one. Nobody truly appreciates what they have until it's taken away and they have to work towards it all over again – but it also makes you appreciate the end result just that much more. The real obstacle is not necessarily the disabilities, but rather giving yourself the tenacity to say “to hell with whatever is holding me back, I’ll just make sure to work twice as hard so I can accomplish my goals in life” – and quite frankly, I’d say you’ve done that swimmingly. =)
My response to Jack: It’s all in the perspective you embrace, Jack. The disability, limitation, whatever is an individual challenge. We each have our own battle. It’s up to you if you decide to let it hold you back or make the progressive steps more challenging, and thus exponentially rewarding.
Teresa's comment (Chiari survivor): I love what a positive motivator you are, in my life, and the lifes of others .. but I have to admit, I am afraid .. I want to live to be 90, I want to watch my babies grow up, I want to be there when my daughters and grandchild graduate college, and marry .. I am afraid of what type of BODY I will be trapped in, when I am 60, 70, ? the pain level sucks now, how will I handle it then ?
And Teresa, here’s the thing with me: no one expected me to get where I am. My doctor discharged me when I was 18. My neurologist, 4 years ago, told me that I am healthier than he is. I equate fear to doubt. You can’t move forward and grow if you are being fueled by a negative force (doubt/fear). I don’t have Chairi and I imagine the pain is horrible, but I went through a lot of pain. You’ll never overcome it by succumbing to it. Pushing through may have hurt, but I voluntarily engaged the pain. It’s VERY hard to do, but doing so makes the pain go away because you push yourself beyond your limits to get yourself stronger.
If you fear where you will be 20, 30 years from now then you are holding yourself back from where you can be. I believe, with limitations, if you fear the worst then that is what you are destining yourself for. You can’t see the impact of my disability. It’s still there, but it does not impact my life. You can do it too. Everyone can, whatever the limitation is. This extends beyond physical disabilities—it applies to life. We each have a choice to choose how to live and I choose to be happy. Living that way has increased my life expectancy infinitely. I may not live to 90, but damn I am going to be happy. That’s all that matters =) (quality vs. quantity)
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August 15, 2010 07:20:58
Posted By gregwagner
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Beach = Done.
O.A.R. concert = Amazing time...but done.
Chicago = Still happening =)
I came out here last year to surprise the first brain aneurysm survivor I ever became friends with. Anuja Mehta is the first and she is my favorite (sorry to all my other survivor friends, but this is true. She'll fight you if you try and take that position away from her.)
She was up all night Friday for work, but she still picked me up at 10:30 and we spent the entire day together. We went to the top of the Sears Tower, stood out on the glass box and then we got pizza pot pies, this delicious garlic, pesto, parmeasan bread and the largest salad you will see at Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder. Go to TravelChannel.com, search the restaurant and you will understand exactly why I took her there.
The air and water show is this weekend. Not only are there more people on the beach then Anuja has ever seen, but it's also crazy hot for this city. (Granted this is 15 degrees cooler with more than half the humidity of Maryland/DC.) Instead of wearing ourselves out, I told her that all I want to do in Chicago is actually spend time with my closest friend. Go digure, you go on vacation and actually RELAX versus running yourself ragged. (Next time you go on vacation, take one day where you do nothing but stay inside and relax. Enjoy the hotel, take a nap and just loungeeeee! Make a vacation a true vacation =) )
Anuja and I decided to get sushi last night and then went back to her condo for desserts. She caters and she made me these delicious 2-bite oreo and chocolate chip cheesecakes. We just stayed inside and chatted. Today, well...Anuja lives right next to the Field Musem and thew Shedd Aquarium, which she hasn't been to in YEARS due to how demanding her job is. We're getting brunch and staying close to her condo. I am going to try and convince her to use her catering skills and cook dinner tonight =)
Being with Anuja always makes me happy. I have only spent yesterday with her so far, but the time I have spent with her has been enough to affirm that I am doing the right things in my life for myself right now. Our lives uncanningly find a way to parallel each other's and each of us know where we are heading is where we are supposed to be and, no matter what, we will be in each other's lives forever. She is one of two friends I can count on for anything...and she just got up. Time for me to go so that I can enjoy as much time with her today as I can!
Brunch, here I come. (Man, I'm so happy I have friends who LIKE food!)
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