I applied for that job today—the job that I wanted a 250-word essay, which I posted a few days ago. I will give you more details about the job soon. I want to wait for the deadline is over so I am not promoting the job opportunity and giving myself more competition. I don’t think that makes me selfish; that makes me smart. That’s not a selfish thing to say, right? Haha.

Anyways, I submitted the application with that 250-word essay and paragraph answers to 6 questions about how I relate to and inspire other people. I let a few of my closest friends read it and brought them to tears. I figure if my friends, who have known my story as long as they have known me, are moved by how I worded my responses then I have a real chance at touching complete strangers.

As I keep saying, big things are coming. And now that I’m getting a better grip on structuring my days I should be able to start posting a bit more regularly…and on time!

I hope everyone is having a great week.

So, I have been looking into trying to find a new taekwondo school because mine closed down last month.  I did some searching around and no school is a perfect replacement.  There were some schools that I could easily rule out, but others seemed like I could compromise with.

Unfortunately, some things you never truly know until you experience them first hand.  It's not important to get into the things that bothered me with the school, but I knew just simply participating in the first class that the things I thought I should be able to look past really couldn't be looked past.

Anyway, the point that I am trying to make is I have no problem defending myself or sticking up for what I'm trying to do with my life, where I have been or where I am trying to lead my life.  I'm still trying to figure out how to confront other people and deal with consequences of those actions.

Sometimes things don't work out.  I didn't see any reason to take up 3 nights of my time for the next month to go to a taekwondo school that I was not going to join after the trial.  I just wish I had more confidence in myself to logically confront other people when things aren't going well.

It's weird how passionately and strongly I will voluntarily defend my career, life and personal choices, but whenever it comes to criticizing or showing displeasure with someone else, I kinda cower away from the confrontation.

I have never claimed to be perfect.  I guess this is just one of the things I need to work through.  Everyone has improvements they can and need to make in their lives.  The more I work and develop determination, perhaps I will slowly learn that skill from other people.  That's the beauty of this program: I have learned a lot, but I learn so much from everybody I speak to and everybody who wants to help this program along.

I'm just so used at trying to please people and make things better for others that I hate when things don't work out.  It's just something I got to work through.  It's never a fun situation to deal with because you don't know how the other person is going to react, but each day is a new opportunity to learn.  I just gotta keep my head high and someone will help show me how to toughen my skin :)

I didn't even get a mile in and my IT band starts throbbing on my right leg.  Shortly after I run only a mile my glute decides to flare up again.  I had a feeling my injuries that arose during my Boston run would still be around, but I just felt like running my course one last time through my neighborhood.

It's amazing, but I'm friends with all these families who live up and down the streets I ran through.  I've been running the same course for over 3 years now, and somehow after seeing me run by their house day in and day out they all eventually learned my story and began cheering and shouting when they saw me running by.  It's such a humbling feeling how simply living and progressing your own life can inspire so many people.

Running and I need to take a very long break.  I truly believe that consistently, and repeatedly, running wears down the body.  I think that nerve damage expedites that breakdown.  As much torque as I put on my right side, and the additional force I burden my left side with, it must be tearing my body apart.  It's a degree of strain that most people do not have to accommodate for.

I still ran 5 marathons.  I did so despite my disability, but fact remains that I am still disabled.  A disability does not prevent me from doing anything, but I still need to be aware of how my disability impacts my body.  I could run through it and be in pain-- pain is definitely not an issue for me.  However, I've run a marathon, I finished first in my division in Boston.  I've proven the achievement to everybody, and most importantly I have proven it to myself.

There's more to be accomplished, so there's no need to merely repeat this accomplishment over and over again.  Push your body, but never run hellbent.  That is how you injure yourself and I have come too far to injure myself.  There is too much left that I want to accomplish.  My body is fighting me when I run now, so why put myself through the pain when I have already accomplished that end goal?  It sounds like it is time to work towards a new challenge and see where that journey leads me to.

New York, here I come.  The book is done.  The marketing package is finalized.  Determination is ready to grow.

I'm pursuing my dream right now.  I am slowly building this program out, finalizing edits and marketing packages for my book and expanding my network of friends by tapping into a whole new generation of brain surgery survivors.

None of this would be happening if not for O.A.R.

I left my job in October last year.  I hadn't been happy at my job for most of 2009 mainly because I wasn't getting any opportunity to grow.  I went to the O.A.R concert 2 years ago and had so much fun I knew I had to go again.  It was within the first two songs of their set that everything clicked.

I needed passion.  I needed a drive.  The concert was in August.  My driving force had been my book, which I had been writing since March.  The music just made me feel so carefree and happy, and I realized that is exactly how you should feel in life.  It only took a 2-hour concert for me to put my career ambitions and aspirations together.  Ever since I started pursuing Determination full-time, that sensation has remained constantly felt.

Determination is still my goal, but I will be able to pursue it in my spare time now.  The brunt of the work is behind me, so I am constantly looking for full-time jobs to get me settled again with a steady income.  In all my time of searching for full-time jobs, I kept my eyes and ears open for the first mention of when O.A.R. was coming back to Maryland for this year's summer tour.

It's weird to say, but that band drove me to actually pursue my dream instead of simply dreaming about pursuing it.  I'm already inspiring so many people and the program is barely off the ground at this point.  So much good has come since that concert last year that the all I wanted to do was celebrate where I'm going by seeing O.A.R. again.  So I am doing just that...and when I logged into the pre-sale, I was so quick that I scored front row tickets just to the left of the stage.

I'm not giving up on my dream yet.  As inspired as I was to even pursue it by seeing this band from the back of the pavilion, I can only imagine what emotions are going to spark by seeing them front row.