I was riding the bus in to the gym today and I actually talked with the driver today and had a short conversation.  The conversation progressed to talking about how we were each happy that the days are starting to get longer now.  It’s annoying getting up and starting your day before the sun gets up and then getting home after it gets down.  That we agreed on.  I said that I felt like I had wasted the day.

His response was simple and clear.  “You haven’t wasted a day.  You worked.”  And that is true.  I’m getting myself to the point to do what I ultimately want to do.  I pursue my day with the same vigor and determination that I live my life with, and I get everything done before I leave to go home.  Sure, there are things I would rather do.  This man I talked to has driven a bus 4-5 days out of the week for over 12 years.  I’m sure there’s plenty that he’d rather do to…but to do those things we have to work.

I never thought about it in such simplistic terms before, but it definitely makes sense.  It’s not like I slept away the day and was lazy with my time.  I’m getting a lot done.  Maybe why I get frustrated is because of how tired I am when I get home.  Yet, I’m tired because of how productive I am being from the time I wake up until I get off the bus and walk home.  Just something new to think about and a thought I will explore deeper.

It’s great the thoughts that can be generated and provoked just from having casual conversation.  The fact that I had it with someone I never would have talked to makes it even more special and worth thinking about.

It’s very intriguing to me how one aspect of your life currently can impact and influence every other part of your life.  Intentional or not, that influence exists.

As a 25 year old male, there are things I enjoy doing.  By now we all know how important my gym workouts are and how much I enjoy fitness overall, but part of how I feel after my workouts comes with my social life and hearing the compliments from my friends and the intrigue from any dates I may have.

Anything as common as not getting enough sleep impacts how you feel and how you react to others and situations you find yourself in.  I enjoy being outside, I enjoy being social and I definitely enjoy dating.  It’s not that it has been hard dating, rather that it’s just felt odd.  I’m re-examining a lot in my life right now.  Part of that has to do with finally getting this round of book proposals to a finishing close.

I’ve talked with my friends who have told me that they have reassessed their lives before.  I guess every now and then something large scale, even monumental, can arise in your life causing you to need time to put things into a new, proper perspective again.  Life feels a little off, but I have my goals and priorities that I am working towards.  They still make me happy and satisfied with my life.  Certain “non-essential” aspects are frustrating right now, and though I use activities as a relaxing break from my day, I guess there’s no reason to pursue them right now if they frustrate me more than they help me.

Self-reflection can be odd to go through, but I’m glad that I know who I am and what motivates me.  That’s enough right now.  It’s important to know what drives you and makes you tick.  Once you have again discovered that, you are in a position where you can incorporate other aspects of your life without worrying that you’re being influenced by other aspects.  It just takes time, but as long as you have yourself then you can get through anything.  The key is making sure you always have your true self around and not a version of you being influenced by outside forces.

I’m starting off by saying that The National Anthem is a very difficult song to sing.  Apparently Christina Aguilera agreed since she cut out a good portion of the song last night.  That or maybe it was all that time she spent in Australia and abroad growing up that caused her to completely jump mid-verse.  Seriously though, how do you do that?  I know everyone likes to put their own spin on songs…but The National Anthem?  Seriously?  I felt bad for her, but at least the blip was only noticeable for a second and she sung her heart out through the whole song.

One of the lessons I was taught growing up is, if you make a mistake keep doing what you’re doing and don’t even acknowledge that you made a mistake.  As long as you keep your composure you are doing more than saving face, you are truly putting your talent and respect on stage.  Granted, I am still trying to figure out what The Black Eyed Peas were trying to display, but I think if they had about half the electricity going to their set that they still wouldn’t have enough power to send to their wireless mic’s to get them to the level they needed to be…but then again, I guess people aren’t watching The Black Eyed Peas for their vocal talents entirely.

The game was pretty good this year, but in my mind the highlight happened before the game even started with Christina.  Yes, she edited the song, but damn she sung the hell out of it.  Who knows, perhaps the NFL told her that she had to shorten the song so that the game could start.  After all, FOX couldn’t tell the Glee cast member to shorten her song in order to promote the network and the commentators just kept on rambling on and on.  It probably wasn’t Christina’s fault in the least, just FOX epitomizing what our values have come to, focusing on promoting themselves.

I’m not sure if that was the intent at all.  I just know that Green Bay won, which I’m happy about, but my life has not been changed in any way for it.  Good for that Ameican Idol opera girl for predicting her team would win the game back late last year!  I hope FOX sent her to the game as a consolation prize.  Now it’s time to move on to the next facet that consumes society’s attention.  I’m already hearing talk about spring training…

I need to remember that whatever timeframe I give myself to get something done, I need to add at least double the amount of time to the task if it’s at all relating to this book.  I know a lot of people who hate things that they are constantly and endlessly working on.  I think we have all heard that it becomes the bane of someone’s existence.  That’s not the case here.  I just want someone to take this project on.  I want it to be perfect because I know that’s the only way anyone will take this project on.  Even this post is taking longer than I thought it would just by typing out the thoughts that connect the post together.

Each agent has their own specific submission requirements.  Some want a full proposal, others want a query letter and an outline, or a query and an outline AND a sample chapter.  Some just want a query and nothing but.  It’s stressful to have your entire work resting in three paragraphs, but that is sometimes the case.  It’s just as nerve-wracking to realize that you need to pick the perfect chapter to submit or it may get rejected.  Then you ask yourself, is my first chapter better than my 5^th chapter or do I just flip a coin to decide which to submit?  If I can’t submit a chapter, I need to alter what I say in my overview to get everything I want to say across.

The proposal is the easiest because I can put it all out there.  If they don’t want a full proposal, I have to condense that proposal into 2 pages.  Not to mention I need to take any interests or personalization opportunity I can from the agent listings and make sure I create a package that appeals most to that person versus making a solid package in general.

In summary, it’s a lot of work and I better get back to it.  Even though I think it’s only going to take me a couple hours more, it’ll probably take me at least the rest of the day and even tomorrow as well.

We were supposed to get more ice last night.  The sidewalks and streets were glistening again.  I got dressed quickly and went out to inspect.  I tip-toed out my door, tip-toed down the driveway and then cautiously scurried across the street.  It was all water, whew!  But now I was dressed, so I decided to go in to the gym early.

Today was my upper body/full body workout, meaning that I use both sides of my body versus my right side isolation workout on Friday this week.  I do the right side workout to buld my right side to equal my left.  I have seen that I can lift more weight with my left side than my right will allow, even after working on my right side exclusively.

At the beginning of last month, I increased to lifting 20 bricks on the lat pulldown.  After 6 or 7 reps, my right hand would lose grip.  Yes, I know I could wear a strap, but that eliminates any rehabilitation opportunity to increase strength and firing ability in my right hand.

Today, after lifting 20 bricks more progressively for 2 months, I completed a set of 15 fully on the lat pulldown without losing grip with my right hand.  I felt it starting to slip, but I regained my grip and finished the set.  That sensation of accomplishment feels so much more satisfying than finding a loophole around.  I feel like I’m actually gaining strength and closing the gap between my left and right sides.  I’m getting closer to my left side and I’m eliminating my disability bit by bit.  I mean, I just lifted 20 bricks on the lat pulldown!

21 bricks.  It might take me a while, but being able to do it is worth everything I have been through in the last almost-23 years.  I’m overcoming and increasing when nobody ever thought possible.  I’m lifting more than everyone around me…and this is just the beginning.